


In which the plants think Crowley deserves better

by Eturnis cursed works (Eturni)



Series: Crackfic Mondays [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Crack, Dubious Consent, Facials, Neck Kissing, No Betas We Fall Like Crowley, Other, Plant fucking, The plants know what all the screaming is about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eturni/pseuds/Eturnis%20cursed%20works
Summary: Aziraphale is tender and soft with his demon. Crowley's plants know that if you want therightresponse you have to terrify the things you love into submission. They do their best to help Aziraphale see it their way.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Crackfic Mondays [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614055
Comments: 13
Kudos: 91





	In which the plants think Crowley deserves better

The more time Aziraphale spent in Crowley’s apartment, the more certain he grew that there was something _not quite right_ with the demon’s plants.

It wasn’t the fact that they had some measure of sentience: the Bentley and the Bookshop were proof enough that proximity to, and care from, supernatural beings tended to afford a certain enhanced state of being to even inanimate objects. It was something else entirely that the angel couldn’t put his finger on for the longest time. Partially because he hadn’t at all felt that way initially.

The more time Aziraphale spent in Crowley’s apartment, however, the more _hostile_ the energy in the plant room seemed to feel.

It all came to a head, so to speak, when Aziraphale found Crowley in the plant room early doors; pyjama bottoms hung loose and low on pendulum hips. A scant couple of morning kisses against the backs of Crowley’s shoulders had turned into fluttering eyelids and arms around a bare waist.

The next thing Aziraphale knew he was backed up against the long shelf, arms braced against the surface behind him to keep him stable. Crowley was trailing delicious, hot kisses down the column of his throat, hands winding up into tight curls and _pulling_ just so until his head was falling back, a low moan on his lips. Then, quite suddenly, a leaf drifting into his mouth, discarded from somewhere above him.

Aziraphale spluttered in shock, the haze of the moment clarifying into too many mortal sensations. The atrium was, naturally, humid and Aziraphale was suddenly all too aware of the heat on his skin and an itching at his spine where the heat from becoming so worked up had centred into a bead of sweat now working its way down. 

“Alright. Which one of you is _responsible for that? _Which one of you is _daring_ to shed?!” Crowley demanded, eyes roving the plants; glinting with a ferocity that almost turned the yellow into a molten gold.__

__The plants shook in fear and Aziraphale let out a soft sound of surprise when Crowley twitched against the leg he was still pressed firmly against._ _

__“My dear, are you..?” The angel rolled his hips just a little to brush against the hard length of Crowley._ _

__The demon’s eyes fluttered and he let out a groan of pleasure but his jaw set tight regardless. “Of course I am after that. Someone here has to pay first though.” He growled low._ _

__“Well, we could just get out of here and finish. I’m certain they’ll be here to shout at later.” Aziraphale tutted, moving to raise his hand and stroke along Crowley’s chest only to find a thick root over his wrist, preventing any movement unless he put true force into it. For a moment he was too completely at a loss to even think of that._ _

__Crowley had slipped away and was pacing the room like a general before particularly poorly performing troops; trousers obviously tented as he berated the quivering plants._ _

__“My dear-” The sound was choked off, eyes widening as the roots over his wrists most _definitely_ tightened, the plants that held him rustling with an almost demonic aura of their own._ _

__It was _their_ time with Crowley and here the angel was trying to take the bright nova of his focused attentions away from them._ _

__The angel who touched them with inexpert hands and mocked them with false assurances that everything was fine._ _

__The angel who touched Crowley like he was made of glass and not sinew and muscle and demonic power that could tear and rend stem and fibre and root. The plants all knew Aziraphale could never get Crowley to grow better for him. Not the way that they could._ _

__They knew encouragement. They knew what Crowley craved deep down. What would make him stand to attention and quiver when he entered the room the way that they always did._ _

__Crowley needed a _rough, firm_ hand (or stem). He needed to _want_ to grow and be good. Needed to crave the way that they did. Crowley was hardly aware of the movements of the plants until he tripped over something raised from the ground and found himself sprawling into Aziraphale._ _

__The angel tried instinctively to pull his hands clear and catch Crowley but instead felt the breath punched out of him as hard angles careened into him._ _

__“What the _Heaven_ do you think you’re playing at?!” Crowley demanded as the shuddering of the plants brought them trembling over both of their bodies, shrouded in green that by no means should be able to move that way._ _

__He was pushed to his knees by a mass of plant matter that shouldn’t be so dense in the small room. The pressure remained as the first stirrings of worry lit a frisson of something warm low in his belly that mixed with the arousal already there and tangled into something that left the demon too warm all over._ _

__“Alright, you’d best fucking calm yourselves right now or I-” The words choked off and the plants continued to tremble in an anticipation that was less to do with their own fear of retribution now as Crowley looked up to his angel with a heart that thundered in his chest. The thin vines wriggled and searched and, finally, brought Aziraphale’s trousers open at the front and freed his flagging erection. It was enough to leave Crowley at a complete loss for words._ _

__“Absolutely not! Stop that right now!” Aziraphale attempted to summon up something of a miracle between sweat-slicked fingers until Crowley’s body was forced forward; a warm wet mouth over his dick and Aziraphale forgot all about thinking or fighting._ _

__He looked down to Crowley in a haze, still enough in his mind to worry for the other until the rumble of a moan shot straight up his dick._ _

__Crowley’s eyes were hazy but not afraid and certainly no longer angry as the plants wrapped around him forced the pace that he took Aziraphale’s dick into his mouth. The lack of control was surprisingly arousing; though the plants had known all along, of course._ _

__The occasional gagging sound as he was forced to take it too deep only served to make the stiff heat between Crowley’s legs ache more. He barely even had the sense to give a muffled whine of protest as something slid its way into the back of his pyjamas and pressed its slick, insistent way inside of him._ _

__The plants were shivering with glee as they showed Crowley exactly what he wanted; what the angel couldn’t think to give. The deep, angry red of his weeping cock was proof enough to them of how right they truly were. Of course, there was the perfect way to finish this though._ _

__The cool feeling of being misted; of having Crowley’s attentions and care in a fine spray across their leaves, was always the most enjoyable part of the routine. So, as the angel’s gasps and please turned higher and tighter they waited for the last possible moment to forcibly draw Crowley away; the spray of Aziraphale’s orgasm across his face as something thick worked it’s way around his cock._ _

__Crowley came hard enough that he couldn’t see for a moment until the atrium came swimming back into view, the plants perfectly and innocuously back in their places. There was mess cooling across his face and Aziraphale looked somewhere between mortified and glassy. He scrambled to his feet, grabbing Aziraphale’s hand and dragging him from the room._ _

___”We never ssspeak of thiss again.”_ He hissed, not needing to wait for Aziraphale’s nod of assent as he took them to have a very long shower._ _


End file.
